Speed
March 9th, 2006
Only two metal and plastic brakes were holding me.
I happen to be watching the singletrack twisting in front of me.
I was trying to illustrate the situation by electro sounds in my ear, maybe.
Maybe the pause was not for the wait, but for the release, the ultimate remedy.
Yes, music and I will be carried away together,
and I will let gravity to take control.
First one or two pedals, and bike reaches its limit speed in seconds.
I was trying to concentrate on, tricky indeed.
I was thinking that somehow I was in control of something,
but everything was working automatically, maybe.
As the turning speed of wheels increased,
my eyes start to open more and more,
my muscles, stiffen, work hard under tension,
My heart pumping blood to my veins three times in a single second.
While I was slipping on leaves left from fall,
old days come to my mind, scattering…
A small tree branch touches my hand and brings me to myself again:
What s your age? What old days?
and helping me to focus.
I was never ever looking back,
as I rapidly go down from the singletrack.
Maybe because of my speed, maybe because it is dangerous.
I don t know.
Do I really want to know?
I wish that the life should be like that,
I wish it was this much easy to not to look back, and unconscious.
however, it is not.
It should be not.
Light escaping between giant trees, is fading away,
before it can dazzle my sight,
and I find myself in dense green world again.
When I catch the chance to follow the torn path,
I try to pedal and increase my flow speed.
I truly understand what is grip, especially in S curves.
As bike flows down the singletrack,
I find myself in darkness again.
I choose a strange and unseen path between dense trees.
I can t see the place I m going, not even the way I came,
I can t see.
but I believe.
Maybe not myself, to past, to before, this track, everything maybe one thing.
I m advancing somehow.
Am I on the right path?
I don t know.
There is only one way to learn.
As the music in my ear, approaches its very end,
accelerates with its full potential.
I, feel the inspiration of this invisible effect,
forcing myself at limits.
Bike is losing grip in corners,
sometimes tires get out of the way,
plants and branches scratch my fingers.
I feel the whole bike slipping away, where the singletrack is loose.
and I feel the What if sound inside.
When I understand I didn t fall, pedal again.
Plants and trees around seem to increase, I slow down.
I notice the music has settled down, at the same time.
A muddy couple of meters and a little water pass,
final.
A long and hard braking.
I don t want to miss this scene.
I can look back, now.
A huge cloud of dust is approaching me slowly.
Yes, I m aware that I speeded,
maybe I was wrong.
But I m here, anyway.
breathless…
I can hear my every heart beat and feel the tension covering my body.
My hands are numb because of too much braking.
My fingers are shaking, because of adrenaline.
A little lake,
dense plant cover,
a wide field, very green.
I think wheat or barley planted.
Trees are all dressed up in white.
White flowers, like wedding dress.
Even I feel some cold, weather is good.
I can truly feel that sun is warming my face even behind dark glasses.
I m asking to myself.
What more I can want?
I answer to myself again, smiling.
and I move into this fantastic scene.
-Burak
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